I want to walk on stilts...naked
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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