Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
