Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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