Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
