I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
