she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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