I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
