sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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