There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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