eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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