My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize