I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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