in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
