he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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