at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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