How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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