You smell like stripper and shame
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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