god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
