I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
