My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Randomize
