Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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