My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
