You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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