I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
