How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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