You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
