is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
