I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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