We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
