I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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