her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
