I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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