I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I want to have your abortion
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize