I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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