is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
