she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize