yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
