oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Let's get the cat blown out
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
