I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
