i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
