He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
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