there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
