the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize