When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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