Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
