Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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