I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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