You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
