doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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