My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize