Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
