what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
