I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My dick has a subreddit
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
