Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
