Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I cut my penus on the lid.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
