I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
