Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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