Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
