I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
