what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Sext me about skeletons
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