Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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