sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
